Blackened Night

Jeez.... As the averagely happy me thinking of a good intention in form giving a new year greetings for certain someone on some website, I saw a name that catch my eyes. As a curious person, I give the name a click AND DUAR!!!!! That's really the name of certain person who I never met although we are breathing the same air and unfortunately (for me) we have somehow blood connection.
Some other certain someone said that the certain person doesn't want to meet me although the other certain someone have told him that it'd be better if we know each other.....
Truthfully I don't even believe what the other certain someone said ^^'

Argh....

Actually I don't want to be sad or even hurt just because this kind of thing. I just think what the hell with the same state or even the same city. And also that blood connection means nothing.
But as I saw the name it still very painful..... :'(

I don't know which is worse....
that the certain person doesn't want to know me or the fact that it's hurt to see his name on certain someones page.

Anniversary

Hari ini (29 Desember 2007) adalah hari setaun g punya kucing. Kucing yang g temuin di tempat parkir supermarket. Huahahahahahaha. It's the best of christmas present I ever have. Really love him. :)

The Things I Miss

I miss singing in the choir
I miss the christmas concerts
I miss the midnight smss
I miss my friends
I miss my old school
I miss to be missed
I miss my family
I miss my old house
I miss...

SDPB

Waktu, menurut g adalah Sumber Daya Paling Berharga yang kita punya. Laen ma minyak bumi, batubara dsbg. Emang seh SDA (masih pada tau pan singkatan SDA?) SDA yang g sebutin sebelumnya juga SDA yang terbates. Tapi pada dasarnya mereka masi tersedia ampe sekitar 100 taun lagi, lagian manusia sadar bahwa SDA2 ini dah mau abis, dan mulai cari alternativ buat ngegantiin SDA2 ini.
Laen halnya ma waktu. Emang seh waktu sebagai waktu sendiri ngga terbates dan ngga akan abis. Tapi waktu yang kita punya di bumi ini cuman sebates umur kita, yang notabene bisa abis dalam detik selanjutnya (ngga terbukti, karena g masi sempet selesein nih tulisan dan kalian masi baca nih tulisan:p). Walaupun waktu terbates bangget sering kali waktu yang bahkan setiap detiknya berharga ini kita sia siain begitu ajah. Yang g maksud dengan penyia-nyiaan waktu adalah hal2 yang kita kerjain tanpa kita nikmati dan atau syukuri. Dalem hidup ini pasti dah pernah donk yang namanya kepaksa ngerjain sesuatu, tapi kerterpaksaan ini bukan alesan buat kita untuk ngga nikmatin apa yang kita kerjain dan bersyukur untuk apa yang harus kita kerjain.
Bentuk laen penyia-nyiaan waktu adalah menyesali seuatu yang dah kita kerjain. Apapun yang kita kerjain, sekalipun salah, pasti ada maknanya. Menurut g seh timbang nyesel ngerjain sesuatu, mending pikirin apa yang kita dapet dan bisa dipelajari dari kesalahan atao apaun itu yang bikin penyesalan. Penyesalan juga penyia-nyiaan karena pas kita nyesel, kita lagi2 keilangan waktu untuk belajar dan nemuin makna yang bisa diambil dari suatu kejadian.
Penyia-nyiaan waktu yang laen aadalah hal2 laen yang dah jelas2 ngga ada gunanya kaya ngelamun, ngomel2 ngga puguh, dan sebagainya dan sebagainya.
Yang bukan penyia-nyiaan waktu adalah baca komik di saat yang tepat, ngelamun kalo pas lagi harus ngelamun, dan simply ngga ngerjain apa2 kalo emang ngga pengen ngerjain apa2.
So intinya: Apapun yang dikerjain kudu dinikmati dan juga disyukuri. Karena biar gimanapun, ada orang yang bisa kerjain apa yang kita kerjain.

The Darkness to Blame

Sometimes.... sometimes....
there is the twinge of longing
deep, deep inside the deepest heart
someone to love
someone to share with
someone to holding hands with
someone to argue with
someone to fight with
there is a trace of cold
deep in the deepest heart
empty place for the love yet to find

tap.. and gurglr..

the water glistens on the window
Singing tap.. tap.. tap..
dancing with the wind
whirling and flying

the water slides down the roof
doing lovely tap.. tap.. tap.. as if knocking the door
dancing as falling whipping their other self

the water flows down
humming gurglr.. gurglr.. gurglr.. as it travels
as powerful as it is, take down all in its way

no matter what it does
water water water
enjoy the tap.. tap.. tap..
and happily hum gurglr.. gurglr.. gurglr..

Sad

a lone cross on the roadside
a silent remark on a great lost
a lost of a beloved one
crossing wealth health even age
reminder of pain and sadness
someday would fade
washed by the time
replaced by the new
and then forgotten
lonely and sad


There is a tradition in Germany that the family and friends from the dead victim of an traffic accident would construct a little cross on the roadside, where the accident happened. This cross is a memento of a lost life, a beloved life. Anyway the cross is not constructed just for human, sometimes there is also some cross for the animal (pet) that lost its life dead in an traffic accident. This traditions is the inspiration of this poem. :)

Meaningless Rambles

I ask myself over and over again; 'Who am I'. I get the same answer over and over again; 'Me'. But deep deep inside my mind, the next question bubbles over and over again; 'Who is me?'.
The answer would still be; 'I am me'. I fully realize that I just need to accept that 'I am Me', and there would be no other problem. But, what is life without some little problems, right? So, instead accepting that 'I am simply who I am' I dive deeper and deeper into the confusion of 'who is me'. Right now simply working to accept the simple 'I am me'.

Kata kata

Kata bertebaran
berbagai bahasa beragam emosi
Kata bertebaran
dengan dan tanpa makna
Kata bertebaran
menyelusupi relung pendengaran
Kata bertebaran

memenuhi likuk pikiran

Kata bertebaran
berdengung layaknya lebah
Kata bertebaran
tanpa henti tanpa makna

Berawal dari Pipis

Pertamanya cuman kucing yang ga tenang dan selalu bulak balik keluar masuk. Trus dia pipis di wc dia tanpa pipis. Langkah selanjutnya, dia pipis dia atas karpet
DAN!!! pipisnya berdarah!

Hegh!!!!

Telponlah kita ke dokter, kucing pun dibawa ke dokter. Perutnya diperiksa, dipencet2 dokternya masi belom tau. Akhirnya kucingnya di rontgen.

Hasilnya?!

Infeksi kandung kemih ma 4 butir bola timah kecil. Kucing pernah ditembak......

Garbage Bag

Just now I found out that having a true friend is just like having a big garbage bag on your side. It would always be right on your side, whatever side you're on. Always ready to keep every kind of trash you dump on it. And enable you to be who you are in every possible ways. Let you being a weak one without attack you, let you being an evil without a prejudice whatsoever.

Of course a true friend shouldn't just be a garbage bag for whatever feeling and thought I have. A true friend help me to find out who I'm and understand me better. Through understanding and knowing I'm getting better, growing and being mature all the ways. A true friend, also, help me to put a laugh on something stupid I've done.

As we are far away from each other, I think that I'm slowly get knowing him better and vice versa. As a true friendship wouldn't be handicapped by the distance between two friends

Thank God, that He gave me someone like that already. Just realize it in this past months :)

Lonely Rose

Standing proud in the middle of deceased
Blooming in the deadness
Entertain the loneliness

Homeless

Faces turning around
Sneer and jeer to be heard
Composed of two
Belong to neither

Blew by cynical word
Sliced by cold look
Stabbed by distrust

Hard...hard... attempt to find somewhere to belong to

Morning

the morning scent clings to the fallen leaves
arrows of sunlight flick through the darkness
erase the traces of the ice
tear the draperies of the night
filling the cold earth with the fluid warmth
break the sleepiness
welcoming the next new day

Tjoerhat ;p

Beberapa bulan ini (kurang lebih dari sejak juli) g ngerasa ngga punya tenaga dan ngga punya keinginan (g rasa keinginan adalah hal yang paling deket ma willpower, doesn't it?) Apapun yang g kerjain g ngga ngerasa semanget, dan pas apa yang g kerjain dah beres, ngga ada kepuasan yang g dapet dari hal yang g kerjain itu. Semua yang g kerjain rasanya jalan lewat begitu ajah, tanpa makna tanpa arti.
Rasanya ampir kaya balik lagi ke 'waktu itu'. Waktu di mana g ngga ngerasain apa dan semua 'lewat' begitu ajah. Tapi g tau bahwa g ngga balik ke 'waktu itu', g juga tau bahwa g masi ngerasain banyak hal. Cuman sayangnya semua yang g rasa itu lemah banget, klo suara mah sayup sayup.
Kadang g ngerasa g pengen cerita pengen nangis pengen marah. Tapi pas ada kesempetan ngomong cerita rasanya kepengen2 itu semua udah jadi sedemikian sayup2 sampe g dah ga niat lagi.
Sejak waktu itu kerja g ngerasa lebih baek, tapi hari ini semua balik lagi. Ngga ada keinginan, ngga ada tujuan, ngga ada minat. Rasaya pengen bisa 'ngga ngerjain apapun juga' yang tentu ajah ngga mungkin terjadi.
Selaen ngga ada keinginan, tapi kali g sendiri g ngerasa ada sesuatu bolong di dalem badan? hati? atokah itu jiwa g? yang mulai terbentuk. Umh.... bolong bukan kata yang tepat seh, rasanya kaya sesuatu yang kosong hampa tapi berat.
Rasanya pelan2 aer mata pun mulai balik lagi ke tempat persembunyian dia yang dulu. Hal yang dulu pernah ancur mulai terbentuk lagi setahap demi setahap. Yang paling parah adalah g mulai ngerasa keadaan begini tuh okay.
Ketawa tanpa bener2 happy, senyum yang cuman kontraksi otot ajah, dan aer mata yang cuman bisa g rasa jauh banget di dalem g.


Wanna meet him again :'(

Half Lidded Eyes

two month already gone
having been taking the world through the half lidded eyes since

more often then seldom
engulfed by the half trickled down tears in the end

there deep at the bottom of the soul
something broken in half

left the marred heart
left the bruised pride

there once and again a deep cut gashed deeper by words
there and just there the frozen tears allocate

slicing the bruised heart
wounding the battered spirit

after all that
I'm only able to see the world through the half-lidded eyes

Illusions

Kita (cw cw indo) sering pikir bahwa cowo eropa teh semua gentleman, ladies first dsbg. Berdasarkan pengalaman 'love' g, cowo bule tuh ngga gentleman. Orang inggris g ngga tau, tapi orang belanda, jerman, belgi dan perancis seh pasti kaga.

KENAPA?

Karena di sini tuh emansipasi wanita bener2 dah jauh banget tarafnya, cw tuh bener ampir sama sama cowo, jadi ngga ada alesan lagi buat cowo untuk memperlakukan seorang cewe secara 'gentleman'. Yang ada cw pasang palang dan yang cowo ngeliatin sembari tolak pinggang dan perintah2. Ato cw bawa barang belanjaan sejebug jebug dan cowonya cengengesan sembari NGGA bawa apa2.

Jadi harapan cw indo kalo bule itu gentleman cuman ilusi semata. Emang seh masi ada cowo yang bener2 gentleman, tapi cowo kaya gitu sama langkanya di sini kaya di indo, itu juga kalo ngga di sini lebih langka.

So always try to make the best of what there is instead dreaming for illusions. :)

ARGHHHH....

ARGH! Couldn't say nothing more than that. Describe the indescribable say the unsaid.
Every, every single time There's none such an exception always be driven to the edge of madness beyond measure
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Buah Simalakama

pernah denger tentang buah satu ini????????????? semua yang bisa bahasa indonesia pasti pernah denger donks..................... :D

tapi apa yang bakal lu lakuin kalo lu suatu hari harus 'makan' buah ini???????
milih yang terbaik dari antara yang terburuk......... apa yang bakal lu lakuin?

ujian lisan lulus sukur bisa ambil mata kuliah yang di idam idamkan, ngga lulus pak koper balik indo selamanya; sama sekali ngga punya percaya diri buat ikut ujian lisan

ujian tertulis tunggu satu semester ngga bisa ambil mata kuliah yang g benernya pengen banget ambil kalo ngga lulus risikonya sama; rasanya lebih baik tertulis timbang lisan

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Share my day

There is nothing particularly happened today.
But I feel like I want to share it. Hehehehehe :)

I talked with my mom on the phone today. She is the best mom. Hehehehehe

I realised that there is nothing stronger in this world than will. Willing to do something make you able to do it.

I think that's what I have in my mind today. See ya! :)

fog's cuddling arms

the fog drop silently on the earth
bestowing the forest a soft glance of mystery

slowly I come back into the fog's cuddling arms
yielding an unspoken plea
being freed from the painful dream

the fog drop silently upon the earth
bestowing the forest a soft warm blur

slowly I take the path
bending toward the unknown future
safely in fog's cuddling arms

the fog drop silently
just as silent as it goes
living behind a warm smile on the dead eyes

Thank You

drifting on the edge of madness
holding on to the thin thread of sanity
trying to follow the thought
hoping to find a guide
being the better one

as i drift on the edge of madness
he stands there providing the single thread of sanity
as i try to follow the thought
he stands there giving a guidance
to be a better me

always there with smile and comfort
always there with love and wisdom

thank you

thank you for keeping me
being secure in this crazy sanity

Invisible Motivation ^^'

Stuck...
Busy dwelling with boredom and loneliness

Getting my self stuck...
An act of unconscious volition

Stuck...
In stream of laziness and desperation

Craving...
For some meaning of life

Spacing out...
Screwed up...

Einsamkeit

vom Licht gestrahlt
schleicht ein Einsamkeit
verletzend schmerzvoll

in aller Helligkeit
schleicht ein Einsamkeit
kalt unbarmherzig

unter der Wärme der Sonne
schleicht ein Einsamkeit
lautlos unvermeidlich

zwischen den Geräusche des Leben
schleicht ein Einsamkeit
zielstrebig tödlich

tief in den Herzen des Herzen
schleicht ein Einsamkeit
verhängnisvoll unbesiegbar

Casting Loneliness Away

lonely days...
the crossing path
somewhere...

cast lonesome away

crossing path...
you and me
sometime...

cast lonesome away

friendly warmth...
us
somehow...

cast lonesome away

sweet memories...
heart
somehow...

cast lonesome away

bright smile...
closed eyes
somehow...

cast lonesome away

as I close my eyes, you'll be beside me
cast away all the loneliness
fill the years of yearnings

Narada Membawa Semangkuk Berisi Susu

Orang bijak dari India, Narada, menaruh bakti kepada Dewa Hari. Demikian besar baktinya, hingga pada suatu hari ia tergoda untuk berpikir, bahwa di seluruh dunia tidak ada orang, yang mencintai Tuhan melebihi dia.

Tuhan membaca hatinya dan berkata: 'Narada, pergilah ke kota di pinggir Bengawan Gangga, sebab seorang penyembahku diam di sana. Hidup di sampingnya akan baik bagimu.'

Narada pergi dan bertemu dengan seorang petani, yang pagi bangun, menyebut nama Hari hanya satu kali, lalu mengangkat bajaknya dan pergi ke ladangnya, di mana ia bekerja sepanjang hari. Hanya sesaat sebelum tidur di waktu malam ia menyebut nama Hari satu kali lagi. Narada berpikir:' Bagaimana si petani ini bisa berbakti kepada Tuhan? Kulihat dia sepanjang hari sibuk dengan urusan duniawi.'

Lalu Tuhan berkata kepada Narada, 'isailah mangkuk denagan susu sampai penuh limpah dan berjalanlah keliling kota. Lalu datanglah kembali tanpa menumpahkan satu tetes pun juga.' Narada berbuat apa yang dikatakan.

'Berapa kali engkau ingat akan daku selama berjalan keliling kota?' tanya Tuhan.

'Tidak satu kalipun, Tuhan,' kata Narada. 'Bagaimana aku bisa, kalau Engaku menyuruh aku memperhatikan mangkuk berisi susu itu?'

Tuhan berkata: ' Mangkuk itu menguasai pikiranmu, hingga engkau lupa aku sama sekali. Tetapi lihat petani ini yang meskipun dibebani tugas menghidupi keluarga, ingat akan daku dua kali sehari?'

diambil dari Doa Sang Katak ~ Anthony de Mello

No Title

~I wrote this for just some fun~

meraung pedih dalam hati
ingin teriak tak terpekik
tangisan tanpa bulir air mata

tak ingin mampu menanggung
sepi tak ternyatakan
tangisan tanpa isak

rindu menghayat dalam jiwa

meraih kan tak tercapaikan

keinginan sekedar impian

ingin tak lagi menginginkan

lalui waktu tanpa kesadaran

dalam tangisan bisu

letakkan hidup dalam jeda

hiraukan letih

hentikan pedih

Slave ;-)

I want to go out, open the door!
I want to get in, open the door!
I want to eat, put some fresh food into the bowl!
I want to drink, put some water into the bowl!
I want to be petted, just do it right now!
That's my place! Get out!
My litter pan is dirty, clean it!
My food already rotten, take it away and don't forget to clean the bowl!
Yeaks, salmon! It stinks, don't want to eat it. Bwah! :p
I want some milk!
I want to sleep! What are you doing there???
She is only mine, don't you try to sit beside her!
I want to play, why do you so slow?!
The mice is good, why did you throw it in the trash?!

I think my CAT would say all that sentence if he can speak. Of course that doesn't mean that he isn't bossy. He always tell us what to do. He would look you in the eyes and tell all he wants you to do. No one can escape ;)

We are just his slaves. ^^'

Simplicity of 'I love You'

Every now and then I just want to hear someone tell me 'I love You'. Of course that shouldn't just from a 'boyfriend' (As I don't have any right now).

Every now and then I feel that I need to tell the people I love e.g. my mom; my sis; my best friend; etc., that I love them.

'I love You' are three simple wonderful words.

Whatever mood I'm in I always feel happy as I hear or say those three words.
Unfortunately there is just few people I know who freely say or accept those three wonderful words.

At the first time it is a little bit awkward to say 'I love You' but once you've said it you'll be enjoy to say it more and more.

As we don't have many time in life just try to tell the people you love that you love them.


With regard to the discussions I had this noon.

geburtstag trunk

bin 23 jahre alt
mach grad' mein hauptstudium

bin 23 jahre alt
muss bald klausur schreiben

bin 23 jahre alt
habe kein lust zum lernen

bin 23 jahre alt
bald fertig mit dem studium

bin 23 jahre alt
habe brauschende leben

bin 23 jahre alt
so alt doch so jung....

ps: lil' bit late though

Tanda Tanya Raksasa

G tadi makan siang di kantin di FH. Di seberang g duduk dua orang cowok yang lagi SERIUS bangged bangged-an ngediskusiin sesuatu. Berhubung penasaran g dengenrin lagi dengan baek2 maklum penasaran....

Setelah nguping beberapa saat mengertilah g apa yang mereka omongin : BOLA!!!!!!!

Yiks! Seriusan PIZZAN diskusi cuman buat ngomongin bola doanks

Sekarang masuk deh judul post ini ke dalem tema ;

Kenapa cowo bisa dengan tingkat keseriusan yang super tinggi ngomongin hal ga berguna kaya bola [Tanda Tanya Raksasa]

Waktu untuk Bertukar Pikiran

Kemaren ini pas g nganggur ada satu pikiran yang TAU2 tuing gitu di kepala g.

Yaitu : Dari mana orang tau kapan harus married.....

Bukan cuman dari masalah waktunya, tapi juga dari segi logikanya.

Kapan g harus married ato lebih tepatnya kenapa g harus married sekarang. Gimana cara jawab pertanyaan itu, juga di mana g harus cari jawaban untuk pertanyaan itu. Apakah g harus cari jawabannya di hati g, ato di kepala ato kalo di sini 'aus dem Bauchgefühl heraus' yang kira2 artinya : cuman tau2 tau ajah, kalo mau keren mah feeling?

Dan lagi darimana g tau kalo cowo yang 'INI' yang harus g nikahi. Balik lagi ke pertanyaan di atas, gimana cara jawab tuh pertanyaan dan di mana g bisa nemu jawaban buat pertanyaan g itu. Lagi2 dari hati, kepala, ato feeling?

Mungkin buat orang laen tulisan ini agak sangat absurd. Tapi belakangan ini entah kenapa dua pertanyaan utama di atas ngga mau ilang ilang dari kepala g.

Berhubung g sedang tidak jatuh cinta dan tidak punya pacar g menikmati pikiran aneh g ini. Karena g yakin kalo suatu hari g jatuh cinta mungkin g ngga akan mikir hal2 beginian lagi.

Selaen itu ada satu lagi pertanyaan yang ngegantung di sudut otak g; adakah jaminan bahwa g bakal bahagia setelah g married. Dan kalo jawabannya ngga kenapa orang2 masi tetep pada married?

Sampe saat ini g selalu pikir bahwa pada saat seseorang jatuh cinta dia bakal tau2 >>TING<< sadar bahwa dia lagi jatuh cinta, apakah dalem hal married juga berlaku prinsip yang sama?

Tapi apakah >>TING<< ini berdasarkan atas suatu logika ato cuman feeling ajah?

Huh........... Makin banyak yang g tulis makin bingung jadinya g. Hiks :'(

Personality Test

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have low conscientiousness. Impulsive and off the wall, you don't take life too seriously. Unfortunately, you sometimes end up regretting your snap decisions. Overall, you tend to lack focus, and it's difficult for you to get important things done. Agreeableness: You have low agreeableness. Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all. In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted. And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is low. You're a pretty conservative person, and you favor what's socially acceptable. You think that change for novelty's sake is a very bad idea. While some may see this as boring, many see you as dependable and wise.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Every New Life

In the morning it begun

with the first inhalation of the addictive molecules

and first light to be seen

In the night it ended

with the last exhalation of the hostile element

and last sound to be heard

In the morning it ended

with the last darkness of the past

and last virility

In the night it begun

with the first star

and the first shadow of the sun

In the morning it begun

To end in the night

In the night it born

to die in the following morning

In the morning it would be taken

To be given back as the sun fade

In the night it would be given

to be seized in the morning

Day to day

Day by day

Till the time arrive

Till the call coming

Till we finish

And going back to Him

Fact about Facism

A Black man walks into a restaurant and sits down.

He is the only black person in the restaurant

A white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:

"Listen sir....when I was born I was BLACK, "

"When I grew up I was BLACK, "

"When I'm sick I'm BLACK, "

"When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, "

"When I'm cold I'm BLACK, "

"When I die I'll be BLACK."

"But YOU sir."

"When you're born you're pink, "

"When you grow up you're white, "

"When you're sick, you're green, "

"When you go in the sun you turn red, "

"When you're cold you turn blue, "

"And when you die you turn purple."

"And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away....

Jiwa

Tuhan dari semua tuhan memisahkan sebuah jiwa dari Dirinya dan menciptakan padanya keindahan

Dia karuniai jiwa itu kelembutan angin di kala fajar dan semerbak bunga dari dataran dan kelembutan cahaya dari rembulan

Lalu, Dia karuniai kepadanya secawan keriangan, seraya berfirman : "Kau takkan mereguknya kecuali jika kaulupakan masa lalu dan tak mempedulikan masa depan"

Dan, Dia karuniai kepadanya secawan kesedihan, seraya berfirman : "Kau akan mereguknya dan tahu dari mana makna kegembiraan hidup berasal"

Kemudian Dia meletakkan di sana sebuah cinta yang akan mengabaikannya dengan desahan pertama dari kepuasan; dan sebentuk kemanisan yang akan berlalu dari sana bersama kata
pertama yang diucapkan

Dan, Dia bermaksud menurunkan padanya pengetahuan dari langit demi memandunya di jalan kebenaran

Dan, ditanamkan di kedalamannya penglihatan agar dia dapat melihat yang tak tampak

Di sana, Dia ciptakan perasaan yang mengalir bersama citra dan wujud malaikat; Dan, membalutnya dengan pakaian kerinduan yang ditenun oleh bidadari dari helai-helai pelangi

Padanya, Dia letakkan kegelapan kebingungan, yang merupakan bayangan cahaya

Dan, Tuhan mengambil api dari tungku perapian keramahan dan setiupan angin gurun kebodohan dan pasir pantai keegoisan, dan tanah dari bawah kaki zaman, dan Dia ciptakan manusia

Dia berikan untuknya kekuatan buta untuk memberontak dalam kegeraman bersama kegilaan dan terhenyak di hadapan sang nafsu

Dan, Tuhan dari semua tuhan tersenyum dan meratap karena tahu bahwa sebuah cinta bebas tanpa batas dan telah Ia kawinkan manusia dengan jiwanya


~Kahlil Gibran~

Remembered

Here, I came with hope

foolish hope

There, I went in firm steps
the wrong way

Then, I became the new me
the phony one

At last, I understood, hope;
never fulfilled dream

Storm of Rage

The clouds getting dark
And the sky getting mad

Letting free the raw anger
Piercing with spears of water

Casting the mighty growl
Cursing the filthy brawl

Parade of force
Show of vengeance

Barking thunder
Howling wind

Together
Punishing the earth filled with hatred

Nicht Schlauer!!!!!

Habe gerade Sitzung mit Berater gehabt, es stellt sich heraus dass wir danach nicht schlauer geworden sondern dummer geworden sind. Versuche am Anfang herauszufinden was VERBESSERT werden kann/muss/soll. Und am Ende ; ALLES muss neu gemacht werden. HIKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My faithful Electronic

Yay!!!! Gruppen Arbeit

ITPC ~ 16.04.2007 + Zakaria hinter dem Kamera

Kecewa

Dia
Pahit getir
Kecewa...

Dia
Dingin
Kecewa

Dirinya sendiri
Teman teman
Keluarga

Kecewa...

Effort Minimation

Learned something new....

If you get : an interesting theme for team job, a good looking partner (hehehehehe :)), the theme is a challenge you dreamt to have..... DON'T ever give it up in order to minimize the effort you have to put into the job.....

Embracing Spring

I walk slowly towards the white door
Inhaling the late sun rays
Tasting the scent of the blooming blossoms
Smelling the warm breeze
Drunken in the sight of green leaves

I walk slowly towards the towering white building
Inhaling the early sight of blue sky
Tasting the fine scent of spring in the air
Smelling the fresh molten snow
Drunken in the sight of lilac petals

I walk slowly
slowly...
slowly...
embracing the spring

Pembeli vs penjual

Di Asia pembeli adalah raja, di sini pembeli sering kali dipandang kaya pengemis ama penjual di toko2. Awalnya g pikir kalo itu terjadi karena g orang asing di sini, tapi ternyata NGGA, bahkan prof. g juga ngerasain perlakuan kaya gitu.... begitu juga dengan temen2 g yang laen yang bareng ama g ambil kelas produktmanagement.

Entah kenapa buat orang sini yang namanya pembeli adalah raja tuh sama sekali ga dikenal. Saat ini perusahaan2 lagi getol2nya bikin programm yang namanya customermanagement salah satu yang (setau g) dikerjain di subject ini adalah bahwa perusahaan butuh cari customer dan kalo mereka dah dapet yang namanya tuh customer harus dijaga baek2. Sayangnya orang2 yang belajar ttg segala hal itu di bagian atasnya.... sementara di bagian bawahnya, penjual yang bener2 ngadepin tuh makhluk2 yang namanya customer, hal2 tentang cari dan jaga customer tuh ga pernah ada. Buat mereka customer adalah orang2 rese yang selalu tanya ini itu, minta tolong ini itu yang berarti kerjaan buat mereka....

dah gitu penjual2 ini bener2 asli JUTEK!!!!! Ampun deh g mah.... G dah berapa kali mengkel banget karena dijutekin cuman gara2 g nanya di mana g bisa nemu satu barang di supermarket. G tuh di situ mau beli dan walaupun secara ga langsung gaji mereka teh tergantung ma orang2 model g yang beli di toko itu..... Temen sekelas g tadi bilang, kadang mereka ngerasa dia kaya orang yang berbuat dosa aja.

So begitulah kira2 keadaan penjual pembeli di sini......

Black Strokes

A stroke of black on white
and another black stroke....
and soon it's a bunch of black on the blank white

Flow out of my mind onto the white
flow out of my heart onto the white
I know....

A black stroke about sadness
another black stroke about happiness
and soon your blank life would be full

Flow of thought
flow of feeling
To keep the heart white

Black strokes become character
characters become word
words become sentence
and sentences build a nice poem

A stroke out of the heart
a stroke out of the mind
and soon they become a stong poem

Touching your heart
caressing your mind
I hope....

Black strokes on white
as words in poem

Spring

Blue sky
Sun shine
Warm breeze

Cherry blossoms
Tulps
Magnolias

Green
Yellow
Red

Colourful
Bright
Happy

...

It is this feeling
churning stomach
disordered
as if I've forgotten something real important

It is this feeling
uneasiness
edgy
as if I've missed something real important

It is this feeling
won't go away
despite the good news

It is this feeling
won't let me be in peace

Oh what a day ^^'

heard the cats fighting each other for no reason (for us, human being, there is no reason.... ;)) and saw my cat got beaten. still feel a little bit muddled.

400 - 800 year old cooking utensile

Kemaren g pegi ke bazar taunan di kota tempat g tinggal. Di bazar itu dijual segala macem barang. Mulai dari buah2an kering, bumbu, minuman, whirlpool ampe mobil.....

Setelah keliling2 beberapa tenda, akhirnya g mendarat di satu stand yang jual alat2 dapur kya model sendok, mangkok, centong (maklum orang sunda ^^'), ulekan dsbg. Keistimewaan barang2 ini adalah materinya. Alat2 dapur ini, ga kaya alat2 dapur laen yang dibikin dari metal (steinless steel ampe alumunium) ato plastik, dibikin dari kayu ; lebih tepatnya dari kayu zaitun.
Karena kayu zaitun itu terkenal kuat dan keras. Kayu ini juga ga akan kena bau2 dari bahan2 yang dipake masak dsbg, karena kayu zaitun ini dah saking tuanya sehingga mereka bener2 keras.

Nah sekarang kita masuk tema baru, berapa tuakah kayu zaitun yang keras ini?! Ga begitu tua, 'cuman' 400 ampe 800 taon. Gila ga seh?! Pohon 400 ampe 800 taon ditebang begitu aja cuman buat beberapa sendok centong dsbg......

Jaman gini, dimana semua orang berusaha memperbaiki bumi yang udah bobrok ini ada aja beberapa orang yang cari untung dengan cara nebangin pohon yang 400 ampe 800 taon cuman buat bikin sendok yang notabene bakal sama bagus kualitasnya kalo tuh sendok dsbg dibikin dari melanin, aluminuim dsbg.....

Tetep aja dunia bergerak dengan motiv 'money is everything'. ^^'

Alone

She stands there
wie ein Fels in der Brandung
sendiri...

Sie steht da
bagaikan karang
alone...

Ia berdiri di sana
solid as a rock
alleine...

She hides all her sadness
gedeckt mit Tapferkeit
sendiri...

Sie versteckt ihre Traurigkeit
di balik ketabahan
alone...

Ia sembunyikan kesedihannya
behind the curtain of bravery
alleine...

Alone and just alone....

Alleine und nur alleine....

Sendiri dan hanya sendiri....

Morning after the Snow falls

In the morning after the snow falls ;

The sun shine and the earth dyed in white
The trees build an alley full of white wonder
Fillin' my sight with thousands petals of snow flowers

The earth bathin' in the sun shine
The trees paintin' an idyllic scene
Dippin' all the green in white

The woods bloomin' cheery white blossoms
Every stems every twigs
Carry a glory in white

In the morning after the snow falls ;

The earth gleamin' in the pure white
Sparklin' dazzlin'
Glorious full of wonder

Schnee

Leise rieselt der Schnee
Dünne Schicht Unschuldigkeit auf dunkle Erde bildend

Leise rieselt der Schnee
Trost auf Reue der Vergangenheit

Leise rieselt der Schnee
Dünne Schicht Weise der Dummheit deckend

Leise rieselt der Schnee
Chance auf Verzeihung

Leise rieselt der Schnee
Beleuchtung der Trauer

Leise rieselt der Schnee
Verleiht Reinheit und Frische

Leise rieselt der Schnee
Bis alle unter weise Decke liegt

Leise rieselt der Schnee

In Her Eyes

There is a wide smile sparkling on her lips
There is a laughter in her voice
She does everything with joy

She never cry
As tears are weakness in her dictionary of life

But in those eyes
That dark solemnly eyes
There is everything but joy

All her sadness
All her anger
All her fatigue
On her eyes to be seen
On her eyes to be realized

She says nothing about her life
Thus her eyes betrayed her
Those eyes, dark and solemnly eyes
Yelling and lamenting all her burden

That is her eyes
Dark and solemnly eyes
Reveal the contain of her heart
Crying in silence without a single drop of tear

She never cry
As tears are weaknesses in her dictionary of life

But just in her eyes
Droplets of tears would glisten

Because just in her eyes
All the burden of life are to be seen

Precious Two

Two women I love the most

Mom and sister ; friends

The most Precious in Life

Just figure it out, the most precious thing in life is the ability to do what you want to do. The ability to choose what you want to you choose and to go wherever you want to go....

Don't Ever...

don't think of me as a nice girl
for i treat you nice just because i don't have any reason not to do so

don't think of me as an evil one
for i'm not doing evil without reason

don't think of me as a smart one
for i have to pay a lot attention to understand something

don't think of me as a dumb one
for i'm able to think

don't consider me as a normal one
for there is no definition of normal

don't consider me a mad one
for i'm trying to think before I do something

don't try to order me around
for i'm capable to choose what i want to do

don't try to follow my steps
for i'm still making many mistakes

don't insult me
for we are same

don't praise me either
for you are also able to do what i did

don't pity me
for i would fight to get what i want

don't you just read this
for it's nice to try

=)

Tour along the Memory lane

On Monday my little sis' will have her study tour to Bali for about 10 days. This event allows me to take a trip down the bitter sweet Bali memory lane. A lot of sweet and bitter things happened on that study tour. For s.o. got sick, many of jealousy, tears, shame, and OF COURSE some parade of egoism.

I want to thank Yunus for the photos, Yosep for 'antangin'; I still remember it. Huehehehehehe....
Karol for your sweet jealousy, Dea for your nice ego, Yola for our friendship ; you're the best, Mia for our dark secret of our little balcony at our hotel room, Cing and Ervine because you're there, and 'mon. It was a beautiful memories we have made.

Choices

Two simple words ; do and do not
Two simple choices
But thousands of consequences
Thousands of thoughts
Just between do and do not
There lies what life is all about
as also there lies glories and dooms
With do and do not
The world getting better or even worse

Do and do not
Just a thin difference between health and sick
Sometimes even between life and death
There is just do and do not
For they are all the difference between love and hatred

Just do and do not
Your dreams would be realized or remain as fantasy forever
For do and do not
All we have to choose